New Beginnings

I know I haven't blogged in some time, but since it's close to the end of the year, I just HAVE to blog before the NEW YEAR. *sighs* OKAY...since it's almost NEW YEARS, it's only right to recap this year and to get ready for 2012. This year has been pretty great. Well...REALLY great. I have nothing to complain about. I'm healthy, FABULOUS, el.oh.el., a sophomore in college, doing well in school, and all that other good stuff. I also learned a lot about myself. And of course I'm still learning. I mean...I'M ONLY 19 YEARS OLD!!! El.oh.el. There's A LOT more that I have to learn. I had a great boyfriend. I lost a great boyfriend. I met some crappy guys. I made some lifelong friends. I learned about some people that I thought were close to me, but...YEAH. I'm ACCEPTING the fact that I'll be turning...*inhales and exhales*...20. *sighs* SEE...THAT'S PROGRESS. El.oh.el. I'm maturing, but not letting go of my fun-loving youthful side. I'm not quite ready to turn in my "O YEAH...I'M YOUNG" card. El.oh.el. I am looking to the future though. 2012 is gonna be EVEN BETTER, and I can't wait. NOW...for these people with these New Years resolutions. I've never really been big on that sort of thing. I think if you need to make a change in your life, you should go ahead and make that change. Don't wait until New Years. DON'T PROCRASTINATE. You know how the saying goes: "Procrastination is like  masturbation. You're screwing yourself." BESIDES...who cares what you plan on doing in the new year...JUST DO IT. Especially when you know that one person who makes a New Years resolution EVERY YEAR , but they NEVER do anything about it. ...REALLY?!  Don't talk about it. Just do it. Remember these tips for the New Year, they can come in handy. So reflect on this year and get ready for the new year.
-See you guys in 2012(unless I log in before then.)

Recognize the Signs

OKAY...so Finals are here, well...WERE here. Ummm... I'm writing this blog a LITTLE late. SMH. Eloh.el.  SO...ANYWAYZ. Since it WAS like the ending of the semester, I wanted to hang with some of my friends before we got out for break; one in particular was my friend J.B. He is a GREAT friend, and I hvn't really had the chance to hangout as much this semester, because of our schedules, so I thought this would be the PERFECT time. I didn't just want to hangout for like a few hours, I decided that I wanted to spend the night at his apartment. ...YEAH...I KNOW. It kinda sounds like a BAD IDEA, but I wasn't thinking that at the time. I just really wanted to spend time with him...SO I DID. But on my way to his apartment, I experienced some signs that I SHOULDNT'VE been there. *sighs* OKAY. So I was hanging ot with my girls. We were having a good time laughing, talking, and chilling, before we got out for break. Around midnight, I left the fun to go hangout with J.B. When I got in my car, I accidentally let down my window, and when I tried to let it back up, it wouldn't. SMH. (SIGN #1) I tried EVERYTHING, but none of that worked. I just decided to drive on, and graually let up the window that way. I ended up having to circle his apartment TWICE before the window went all the way up. Now that was done with, I had to find a parking space, but there was nowhere to park. (SIGN #2) UGH. After about 10 minutes, I finally found what I THOUGHT was a good parking space, so I just left my car there and went inside.  When I opened the door, I was greeted by like 7 guys playing cards in the living room area. *pauses* AWKWARD. El.oh.el. (SIGN#3) I just went in his room and waited for him to come in  there. While I was getting things situated, he appeared behind me. I was happy to see him. :-) El.oh.el. We hungout and just chilled. It was a GREAT night. *sighs* So the next morning, I woke up a little early so I could study for my exam that I had at noon. I got my studying done, and then it was time for me to go take my exam. He walked me to my car, but that was because I made him. El.oh.el. So we're walking out to my car, and I don't see it. I was FREAKING OUT. When I got closer, my car was DEFINETLY not there. The lady in the restaurant nearby, walked out with a business card, and she told me that my car had been towed. R U KIDDING ME?!?! I was crying. J.B. tried to comfort me. SMH. It was a POOR attempt, but I appreciated it. It didn't matter tho, cuz I was still upset. I had an exam to take in like 40 minutes, and it was on the other side of the school. UGH. And then I had no car. I called the towing people to find out the information on my car, and they said it would cost $133.00. ...Ummm...EXCUSE ME??? I was like so...UGH. i just decide to leave. My exam was about to start, and I needed to stop some places before I went to take my exam. SMH. Everything ended up going well. I did a nice job on my exam, I got my car, and all the other stuff I had to do. But...the whole situation had me thinking. Like...I didn't want to do that anymore; hanging out like that. All those signs, and Ididn't recognize them. I wasn't supposed to be there, but I was trying to do my own things. I am a believer that GOD sends speaks to us through signs and stuff like that when he wants us to know something, but it is up to US to listen to them, and I DEFINETLY ignored these signs. SMH. I just hope the next time I am able to recognize the signs before something as bad or even worse than getting my car towed happens. This was definetly one of those life lessons type deals. It helped me to see what's right for me right now, and what I should be doing, and who I should be with. I just hope it doesn't happen again. Well...
UNTIL NEXT TIME.

SO That's All You Want From ME?!?!

I've always heard people say "All guys want one thing" (not to ME, but on t.v. and stuff. El.oh.el.), but I never really paid much attention to that. My ex and I broke up like 5 months ago, and I really want to start back with a relationship. Especially since I'll be turning 20 soon, which is making me feel HECKA OLD. I just feel like I should start getting my life and stuff in order. You know...like a career, relationship, and all that stuff. Basically I'm going through a mid, MID-life crisis. El.oh.el. So I've been talking to a few guys, well...they started talking to me, and it's been going good. But of course that only lasts so long. *rolls eyes* I recently found out that all the guys that was talking to me, only wanted one thing:SEX. *rolls eyes again* UGH. Like where do I have to go to find a guy who's BOYFRIEND material, someone who doesn't want that from me, and isn't HARASSING me to get it. Like what the flip is wrong with these guys??? Like I don't know what they're USED TO, but I'm not girl that they are looking for, and they're DEFINETLEY NOT the guys for me. *sighs* Like why is this so hard?!?! :-( I mean...I'm not DESPERATE or anything. I'm not thinking that every guy I see is gonna be "THAT ONE." It's just...eye.dee.kay. It just takes time I guess. When it happens...it will happen. I just can't force anything...no matter how FRUSTRATING it gets. And it most certainly gets frustrating. *sighs* Well until next time....

Like A Virgin

SO...I knew that I wanted my next post to be about sex, but I didn't know exactly what I wanted to write about...until last night. So one of the guys that I talk to, txt me and told me to come out to his car. Of course I said sure. I hadn't seen him in a while and I wanted to hang out with him. I went out to his car, and we were just sitting back talking. Then randomly while I was laying on him, he asked me..."Are you a virgin?" When I told him YEAH, his face looked like this: 0_o El.oh.el. He was SO AMAZED. I personally didn't think it was that amazing, but he said that he hadn't heard of one since his sophomore year of high school. (He made it seem like I was some kind of an alien.) SMH. But I thought that was really sad. I was literally like REALLY dude?!?! Then he asked me the infamous question, "Why are you still a virgin???" (If I could only count how many times I've been asked that.) SMH. I explained my reasoning behind this, and he really didn't seem to understand. He paused for a good little while. I knew he was in deep thought, so I asked him what it was that he was thinking about. He started to ask me some questions. He basically wanted to know what it is that I do since I don't have sex. I told him that I wasn't a nun. El.oh.el. I'm pretty sure that was what he was thinking. The whole situation was just pretty uncomfortable. I really felt like I had just told him I didn't celebrate Christmas or something. Like he had me feeling like some kind of foreigner. SMH. I didn't think it was THAT serious. But I just want to know what people who AREN'T virgins, think about people who ARE. Mainly girls, because I personally haven't heard of any guys being virgins at my age, 19. #justsaying I just wonder what people think of when they hear of someone being a virgin. Like what do they expect virgins to look like; how do they expect them to act??? Hmmm...well I can't answer that question, but maybe someone else can.

Until next time...

When You Grow Up

During the holidays, families tend to visit one another. Since my family generally lives in the same area, we OF COURSE see each other EVERY holiday. But just like a lot of families, there are those CERTAIN family members that you aren't exactly anxious to see. Well...I always tend to end up at these people's house, and let me tell you...NOT A FAN. SMH. I absolutely DESPISE going over there. It's so...so...UGH. El.oh.el. But more than anything, the person that I really just DON'T LIKE SEEING, is my aunt(by marriage; thank GOODNESS.) She is such a SLOB. But when we visited for Thanksgiving, she was EXTRA SLOBISH. Things were OKAY at first, but then she started to drink, and well...that never ends well for ANYONE. but the whole time I saw her acting a TOTAL and UTTER FOOL, I was thinking like, HOE...you are TOO OLD to be acting like this. She is like in her early 40s with 3 kids, 2 of which are teenagers. She's been in school since I was born and eye.dee.kay where she works. Honestly don't care. But I'm just like, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE?!?! I DON'T UNDERSTAND. Though I was focused only on my aunt, by marriage el.oh.el., at that time, I do realize that there are other people who havn't yet gotten the concept of growing up. We may not want to accept it, but there does come a time when we should start to act a little bit more mature, so SUCK IT UP!!! GEESH. I'm only 19, 5 months away from being 20, and I am already feeling pressure to grow up. It HAS to happen. I mean...just because you're growing up, doesn't mean it's the END OF THE WORLD. You're just moving on in life. I mean...if you're the same exact person that you were when you were in high schooll or college, and you're like 40 with kids *coughs*, THAT'S A PROBLEM. LET IT GO. Stop holding on to things of the past. This is a new time; probably a new decade. El.oh.el. Just remember that when you get to acting REAL CRAZY and the peop,e around you are looking crazy. It's not because you're funny, but because you're a sad, SAD case.
Until next...HAPPY HOLIDAYS

Respect the Title...WHAT IS IT AGAIN???

SO...I was just chilling out on the couch at home, trying to get the beginning of my break started, and I turned on the television. First, I watched "Love and Hip Hop," (nothing else was on), and then I watched "Basketball Wives LA," (again...NOTHING was on). In both shows, I saw GROWN WOMEN arguing about how they thought so-and-so was their friend and just being...CHILDISH. I was really looking at the television like "How old are ya'll???" I didn't know their exact age, but I knew they were TOO OLD to be acting like they were acting. And when I heard them say stuff about girls that they THOUGHT were their friends, it got me thinking. Why don't they know who their friends are??? These were grown women. They didn't know how to differentiate between friends and associates, and all that other stuff at THEIR age??? That's like stuff you learn when you're young...little kids...BABIES. El.oh.el. But then I realized. We're kinda all guilty of that. I know I am. I give some of the people that I talk to titles like bestfriend, bestie, twin, and stuff like that, when they don't actually live up to those titles. Why do we do that??? Why do I do that??? Hmmm...*thinking mode* WELL...I believe that I give some of the people that I talk to titles like that, because at THAT moment, they WERE that title. They exhibited the qualities of whatever that title was. I mean...I can't really explain it, it's just that I was quick to make them more than what they really were. PLUS, I was youngER. Now I'm a little older, and I know who my friends are, my bestfriend, associates, and so on. I realize that every person I meet is NOT my friend, so I need not address them as such. I want make the same mistakes the girls on those two shows made, arguing with people who weren't even their friends in the first place. SMH. SIMPLE HOES. El.oh.el. Next time I decide to give someone an important title, I'm gonna make sure that they really ARE that title; they live up to that. As for the people in my life now that has titles, I want to get to know them better, because I feel like I don't. I feel like THEY don't really know me either. I'm gonna build closer reletionships with them, so that the titles I have for them are actually true. *pauses* There's nothing like having those real friends in your life that you can talk to about anything. I love my friends. And I can't wait to see our friendships grow throughout the years.

WHY DON'T YOU GET IT???

SO...it's only my second day of having my blog, and I'm already on my second post. :-) O YEAH. El.oh.el. Well anyway. Tonight was pretty "BLAH" like most weekends are here, so my friend and I decided to just sit outside and talk, like we usually do when we're bored. One topic that we talked about, was guys that JUST DON'T GET IT. Like...WHY??? Why do guys find it so difficult to take hints that the girl they are pursuing, isn't interested? El.oh.el. Like there is this one guy that I met at the mall like literally A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO, and he has been texting me and calling me FAITHFULLY. El.oh.el. I texted him the first few times, because I didn't realize he was so...PERSISTENT. I even answered a phone call from him, but NOW...it's RIDICULOUS. I don't know what else to do, for him to realize that "HEY. I really don't want to talk you like that. Please and Thank-you." El.oh.el. I mean...why can't it be simpler. SMH. UGH. I just wonder what goes through their mind. Like do they feel that eventually that girl will cave in and just LOVE THEM? WELL...that has actually happened to me before, but I went quite some time before I gave them the time of day. I doubt that will happen again though. I mean...I do have to be a LITTLE interested in the guy for me to talk to him. #justsayin It's just...EYE.DEE.KAY. How do I go about telling him to "EASE UP"? I am throwing out all the hints in the world, but I guess I have to be a little more straight-forward. I mean...guys are pretty...SLOW, to say the least. It takes them awhile to get things. I guess they never picked up on facial expressions or anything like that. SMH. IDIOTS. El.oh.el. Well now that I am familiar with the fact that guys aren't the brightest, I'll try to be a little more direct when  I talk to them. That should take care of those guys who are faithful in their persistence that leads them nowhere. I'll see what my results will be. El.oh.el. Well...UNTIL NEXT TIME.

What Is This

First off, I want to say that I am excited that I'm FINALLY starting my blog. It's been a long time coming. El.oh.el. ANYWAYS. For the longest time, I couldn't figure out what to start off writing about, but I got my inspiration last night. So I was coming back to my dorm after leaving a concert. I was texting my bestfriend/ex-boyfriend. SMH. Eye.knw....it sounds bad. El.oh.el. Well he decided that we should Oovoo each other. I happily agreed, because i had nothing to do. PLUS, I hadn't seen him in a while, and #lowkey wanted to. So he called me, and when I saw him, all I could say was WOW. He...looked...SO...GOOD. But I didn't allow his looks to phase me any. We talked...had a nice little convo. Then things started to get a little...UGH for me. He started to talk about his girlfriend, like he USUALLY did when we talked, but this time photos were involved. He showed me pictures of his girlfriend and then them together. I had nothing to say. I was speechless. I mean...what was I supposed to say??? He noticed something was wrong. It showed on my face. He asked, but I quickly brushed it off and went back to my energetic self. We eventually ended our convo and said our goodbyes, but I was still left withthose thoughts. Those "what-if's" or "maybes". Did I still love him or was I just dwelling on past moments because he had someone else??? I WANTED TO KNOW!!! What was this that I was feeling??? UGH. I just know that I didn't like it. The next morning those thoughts were gone...SOMEWHAT. I realized that it's not really the fact that I was missing him, as much as it was that I missed THAT, being in a relationship. I'm not bitter or anything. I'm happy for him. I just want that back. *sighs* WELL...it's okay because i can focus on BETTER things, like my blog. El.oh.el. I'm not gonna go crazy looking for the next guy to have a relationship with. When it happens...it'll happen.