New Years Resolution

Just in case you haven't noticed, I'm making up for the MANY times I just DON'T post things. Haha. SORRY. But Christmas is just about over, and the next holiday is New Years. Everyone always has a resolution that they have EVERY year, and they ALWAYS forget about. Like eating healthier/losing weight. Well mine isn't THAT, though I have considered it a few times el.oh.el. My resolution always deals w/me and relationships, but this year I REALLY want to stick with it. I'm growing to be a BETTER me and try not to fall for UGH guys. Smh. So...we'll see how that goes.

What's On My Mind

So like ALWAYS...I've been thinking. El.oh.el. There have been things that have happened since the last post. Pretty much the usual, sex; drugs and guys. El.oh.el. jk Only ONE of those items I'm having issues with. :-) But I'm still growing and learning. I'm just trying to come into my own, and find me. So...YEAH. Haha.

Nothing Like Family

So first of all...MERRY CHRISTMAS to all. El.oh.el. I hope that everyone had a great day as I did. Today was GREAT, despite the CRAZY rain we got here. Smh. I got nice gifts, though the best gift of ALL is the birth of Jesus, I ate good food, and I spent time with the family. *sits back* I've enjoyed myself.

BREAKAWAY

So this past Saturday, i had a breakdown while driving home from school. It was long overdue. I had been feeling real UGH over the past couple of weeks. That night, I decided that I would turn my phone off for the week. I would only turn it on for Thanksgiving, but after that, it would go back off until the Sunday before I go back to school. It's Tuesday, and I kinda don't miss my phone. First of all, no one was checking for me anyways. I guy I likED won't text me back and just WON'T TEXT ME, and I'm NOT the kind of person who is going to keep trying when I'm not getting a response. No MA'M. El.oh.el. So far, I have felt no need to look at my phone. Well...actually I have, but surprisingly...only to look at the time. It's been really refreshing not to worry about anyone or anything. I'm around the people that I want to be around, so therre is no one that I want to call. Hopefully by the end of the week, there will be a change within me, and I go back to jsut being me and not worrying about STUPID GUYS, feeling on the outside and all the other sad emotions I've been feeling lately. I feel refreshed and renewd. *all smiles*...HOPEFULLY. El.oh.el.

SO MUCH TO SAY

I know this is a little late, but I voted in this year's presidential election...my FIRST, and the person I voted for...WON!!! O YEAH! GO OBAMA! GO OBAMA! El.oh.el. I was SUPER DUPER OOBER excited. To be on Jackson State's campus, with all these people gathered together watching the presidential results and celebrating...nothing could've compared. It was like the best moments. No matter who you were, everyone was hugging, high-fiving, dancing and cheering with each other for a great cause. That was one of the highest I have felt. I wish every moment could be as exciting. *sighs* But it's not. Over the past few weeks...I've been feeling UGH. BEYOND ugh actually. It's just a lot has been going on with me mentally. EVERYONE knows that I am a DEEP thinker. With the stress of financial issues, stressfrom school and future endeavors, feelings of being alone, and issues with a guy, i've been a HOT MESS lately. SMH. With this break, and another one coming up, hopefully I'll be able to get it together, and I won't have a breakdown like I did a couple days ago. MAN...that was HORRIBLE. I literally cried while driving. At that very moment I felt a release, but in no way did I feel 100%. Well...in due time.

Let Me Tell You Bout MY BESTFRIEND

So I was in church today, and I looked down at my phone. I had a message. It was from my bestie. The message said, "If I had to thank you for everything you've done for me it would take a lifetime but I do wanna take this time out to express how much you mean Thank You for just being in my life Love You and I hope you have a blessed day <3" :-) :-) :-) oh.em.GEE. AWWWWWW. El.oh.el. My bestie means the WORLD to me. We've been knowing each other since fifth grade, but we really didn't start hanging out as much as we did until senior year of high school. And we didn't get SUPER really close until this year, our junior year of college. We talk about EVERYTHING...well ALMOST everything. But I'm so glad I have my BESTIE. It's so nice to have someone in my life that I can talk to and just hangout and have fun with. We don't spend EVERY WAKING MOMENT together, and honestly, I don't want that. We spend just enough time together. I think EVERYONE should have a bestfriend...LIKE MINE. Haha

 Until next time...

N.A.S.

Since last week, I've been encouraging my girlfriends to text guys that they like but don't really have the courage to do so. I mean I'm no expert at talking to guys either, but it's easier to give other people advice than it is to take it yourself. So a couple of nights ago, when I was helping my friend text a guy she was CRAZY about, IT HIT ME.
N.A.S. No this does NOT have anything to do with the rapper. It's an acronym that I  RANDOMLY came up with. It means Niggas Are  Simple. El.oh.el. After I thought about it it made me laugh, but it is SO TRUE. When it comes to texting, ESPECIALLY when girls text guys for the first time, they analyze EVERY LITTLE THING. (I've been a witness to this over the past few days.)We try to figure out when is the right time, what we should say, how we should say it and all that other ISH. And while our mind is going CRAZY about how we need to approach the situation, the guy calmly answers each text in what it seems like SECONDS. ...WOW... We are CRAZY. El.oh.el. SMH.
I mean have you ever text a guy for the first time, but before you text him you were freaking out on the inside about what to say and stuff? El.oh.el. I mean I have LITERALLY thrown my phone after texting a guy just so I could force myself not to be caught up in when he text me or if he even text me back. No one has probably gone to MY extreme, but...SMH. That's pretty low. #sadday
Well I'm writing this post today letting ladies know that there is no longer any reason to stress yourself over the once dreaded "FIRST TEXTS." Those days should be put behind us. We should adapt the attitudes of those dudes we stress over, and just be COOL. Whatever happens HAPPENS. And who knows, we might not be alone. They could be stressing out just as much as we are. *pauses* Or maybe not. Haha

Until next time,
 

It's a NEW DAY

HOLA! It is another school year, and I am SUPER, DUPER excited. I'm a junior this year, which means I am almost out of this bizniEE. El.oh.el. (That was a little Love and HipHop Atlanta  terminology.) Haha. This post is a LITTLE late...I KNOW. It's October. SMH. It's okay though. I'm gonna get it together.
We've only been in school for like a month and a half, but there has already been SO MUCH that has transpired. I've added new friends to my friend list, I'm trying to figure out where a couple of my friends stand, and I have also lost one. *sighs* Guess that's what happens the older you get. #FOREVERYOUNG El.oh.el. Not only has there been changes in mys social life, but in my schooling life as well.
I'm taking nice classes, more intense then my previos classes though. One of my classes is photojournalism which I LOVE. El.oh.el. I even bought me a FANCY camera. I stay taking pictures now. #OFFICIAL I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. SMH. I'll try to have that figured out before senior year though. HOPEFULLY. *sighs* There is so much that I have to talk about, that I can't POSSIBLY write it all in this post.

Until LATER...

Friday Funnies

I was just thinking about the original video, but then I stumbled onto this remix. It's FUNNY. El.oh.el. *sighs* GOOD STUFF.

ENJOY.

FRIENDS....How Many of Us Have Them

While I was in Houston visiting Shelby and hanging out with her family, one of her uncle's said that me flying out for the FIRST TIME to celebrate Shelby's b-day, showed that I was a truely good friend. That made me feel really good. I mean I guess I hadn't thought about it. I just thought of it as a cool experience, that it would be something fun. I didn't look at the bigger picture. And when I thought about it, it WAS pretty cool. Then it made me think of all of my friendships over the years. My friends from when I was younger to now, for the most part, are different. I met a group of friends that will stay with me forEVER. I mean these girls are going to be in my WEDDING. El.oh.el. I don't have a LARGE group of friends that I hangout with. It's only really 3. Crystal, Thelma, and Shelby. Then there's my bestie Bri. I don't hangout with her like that. I haven't really since college, because we're onn different schedules, but she is still a friend of mine. AND my roomie. As far as guy friends are concerned, I also only have 3: D.J., my twin Donovan, and J.B., but of COURSE I'm closer to my girls. O YEAH! El.oh.el. My friends are VERY important to me. Living on campus, I'm around them ALL THE TIME. Well...MY GIRLS. El.oh.el. But if I don't see them, I'm either texting or calling them. YEAH...THAT CLOSE. I believe EVERYONE should have somebody that they are REALLY close with, other than a relative. With all my many issues, I need cool people to talk to and just have fun with. Things can be pretty stressful at times, even as college student, el.oh.el., so I need people around me to make things not AS stressful. My friends are also there to be STRAIGHT-UP with me, and that is ALWAYS needed. El.oh.el. At this point in myy life, I just want to keep my friends close to me. I try to text, call, and see them as often as possible. These guys aren't going ANYWHERE. El.oh.el. I want to keep them involved with every aspect of my life even when our college years end. Shelby, Crystal, Thelma and I are trying to go to the same grad school. El.oh.el. YEAH...this is REAL. My daddy told me that the friends you have in highschool sometimes fall by the wayside when you graduate, but the friends you meet in college will be with you FOREVER. I love my crazy, funny, GREAT friends, and I can't wait to continue my friendship with each and everyone with them when we graduate college. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! El.oh.el.

Untill next time,

New Adventures

I know I haven't written anything in like FOREVER, and I'm SORRY. I'm gonna make up for it tho. I'm gonna do like 3 posts back-to-back. So YEAH. El.oh.el. OKAY. So my friend's Shelby's b-day was this past weekend. Before school ended, she told us that she would have plans for her b-day weekend, and she was inviting us to come. (US- Me, Crystal, Thelma, and Bri) When school ended, I offficially decided that I was going to buy a plane ticket to go to Houston and celebrate Shelby's b-day. I mean she's my friend, and I'll have money, so why not??? Besides, I knew that Crystal and Thelma would be going with me, so I wouldn't be by myself. I knew Bri wasn't going because she HATES planes. *sighs* I called Thelma and Crystal as soon as I got my ticket to let them know where I got mine from so we could be on the same plane. When I told them, they were telling me a whole LIST of things that I didn't want to hear. They were saying that they might not be able to make it. I was just thinking, "oh.em.GEE. These hoes BETTA go. I'm not gonna be in Houston by mySELF." El.oh.el. I encouraged them that they would, and that was the end of that conversation. A week and a half later I asked them again, and it was confirmed...I was going to Houston by myself. *sighs* I finally came to grips with it. I mean...I wasn't gonna NOT go. Besides, it's non-refundable. El.oh.el. So I was packing up everything...LITERALLY. I know I packed more than I should have, but I needed to have options. When the time finally came for me to travel to Houston, I was SUPER psyched. I was feeling anxious. I was nervous and it was TOTALLY noticeable. When I got to the airport to check in my bags, the baggage handler asked ONE question. From that question, the he was able to determine that it was my first time riding a plane. El.oh.el. SMH. I was FREAKING OUT. I was shaking SO HARD. It was RIDICULOUS. It only got worse when I got closer to where I needed to be. I went inside, past the security, which I thought was a little much, and I started to walk to where I THOUGHT I was supposed to be. I looked a little lost, but I was trying to. El.oh.el. I finally found somewhere to sit. I ended up sitting by this guy who not only goes to JSU, but who said that he sees me around campus and always thought that I was beautiful. *pauses* I always find the weird guys. El.oh.el. He didn't bother me that much, because he was keeping me SOMEWHAT calm. It was finally time for us to board the plane, and my nerves were at an all time HIGH when we started to move inside. By the time I sat down, I was totally out of it. I didn't even know how to put on my seatbelt. SMH. Then I became calm. I thought to myself, "This isn't that bad. I can DO THIS!" El.oh.el. But little did I know that we hadn't ACTUALLY taken off yet. All I felt was the plane speeding up and then I jolted back in the seat. The plane started flying around. It really felt like a rollercoaster. And THAT was takeoff. El.oh.el. When that 5 minutes of surprise was over, I started to dose in and out of sleep. Next thing I know, they are passing out snacks, and then they're telling us we were in Houston. WOW...that was FAST. I was super excited now. I was in Hobby airport. I had to go to baggage claim to find stuff. After the THIRTY MINUTES that took, el.oh.el., I was to ready to go with Shelby's mom. She picked me up from the airport. Houston is GINORMOUS. It took us it seemed like FOREVER to get to the house, and they said that that was close. 0_o Shelby was excioted to see me and I was excited to be there, but there was no time for hugging and talking. It was time to get ready for our first placeto go for the weekend. We went to a sports bar. It was REALLY SNAZZY. After almost an hour of waiting, her friends are black, el.oh.el., they started to show up. And I must say, Shelby's friends are ALL GOOD LOOKING. I was like WHAAAATT??? El.oh.el. Of course I was reserved at first, but I started to warm up a little. Shelby's friends were really col. The next night was even better. We were at Dave and Buster's. Everyone was more relaxed and chill. Things that night got pretty CRAZY. El.oh.el. So crazy that they can't be discussed. El.oh.el. But they aren't THAT bad. El.oh.el. The next day was a Sunday. It was my last day there. I went to church with Shelby and her dad, and then I was on my way back home afterwards. Shelby's church was giNORMO. It was something I wasn't used to, because my church is WAAYY smaller. It was a nice experience though because I've never really been to another church. Soon...it was time for me to go.     :-( I was pretty sad. I wanted to stay a little longer, but the whole JOB THING. *sighs* But  I definitely want to fly again. I'm still taking baby steps, so I don't think I'll be flying to like Canada or anywhere, but traveling via airplane is a new thing added to my list of things to do.

Until next time,

I Whip My BRAIDS

So this summer I wanted some new hairstyle that would be manageable. My hair was already reaching it's "natural state," el.oh.el. and I didn't want to keep going to get my hair done. SMH. That gets pretty pricey. So I was talking to my friend who braids hair, and I was telling her that I wanted her to braid my hair, not really knowing FOR SURE. I started looking up braids, and I started to get REALLY interested. hy have I not ever considered braids BEFORE?! They are great AND they look cute. I don't have to worry about being in my head all the time. All I have to do is fix it up and GO. That makes things SO much easier. El.oh.el. I finally found out what kind  of braids that I wanted. I ended up getting box braids. They are TOO cute. El.ohel. Now braids will DEFINITELY be a hairstyle that I will consider.

Race Is Still An Issue

So last night while I was watching television, my first weeknight of the summer, I turned onn VH1 to watch La la's Full Court Life. In that episode, race was the main focus. It started when La La's son had a project to do. They basically create a board of who they were. When La La asked her son what color he was, he proudly said "Brown." I thought that was SO CUTE. I mean...I wish older people could have the same ideology as children, which is that skin color doesn't matter. Kids are pretty simple. They can be friends with ANYONE, and adults should be the same. Well I thought that was gonna be all the show was about, but of course this episode on race went a little deeper. La La's friend guy/trainer, a BLACK man, talked about how he doesn't date black women anymore, only white women. *pauses* When La La asked him why he doesn't date black women anymore, he gave LAME reasons why. 1. Black women have MAJOR attitude issues. 2. Black women don't open up. 3. Black women aren't adventurous enough. ESPECIALLY in the bedroom. O_0 REALLY?! Like are you SERIOUS right now?! It's things like that that REALLY get under my skin. How can you, a BLACK man, not want to date a BLACK woman??? I mean...your mother's black. So all of these negative opinions you have towards black women, your mom possesed the SAME THINGS. Did you not like your mother, because that's exactly what it SOUNDS like. I mean...I don't have a problem with interracial dating or marriage. I am not saying that AT ALL. I mean...we are ALL pretty mixed up anyways. El.oh.el. My problem comes when people, MOSTLY MEN...BLACK MEN, date another race not because they WANT to, but because they feel like they HAVE to. Just because you have had a FEW, BAD dates with black women, it doesn't mean that you can categorize them all and just write them off. And MAYBE have you considered that sure...it's THEM, but it's also YOU. I mean you are the one ATTRACTING these type of women. #justsaying El.oh.el. People should just keep an open-mind. Don't shut a person down because of their race. ESPECIALLY if that person is the same race YOU ARE. SMH. That's just STUPID. *sighs* In due time.

Until the NEXT time, 

MY B-DAY WEEKEND

So my 20th B-Day is in 3 days and I'm SUPER excited. El.oh.el. But since my B-Day falls on the Wednesday of finals, I decided to celebrate with my friends the weekend before. And oh.em.GEE. Did WE CELEBRATE. El.oh.el. My weekend pretty much started on Thursday. I had one final and I was done for the day. I chilled out on the plaza and it was SO CRAZY. I met some pretty interesting people, eventhough the school year is about to end. But that was the end of that day. Friday, like usual, NO CLASS!!! El.oh.el. I wore my slutty cute outfit and chilled out on the plaza. I had a short intermission to mentor. And of COURSE I changed my clothes. El.oh.el. After that was done though, I made my way back up to ther school. I was ESPECIALLY excited because I had FINALLY agreed to my bestfriend's offer to smoke weed with him. And what better day to be a first-tme weed smoker, but on the weed holiday, 04/20. I was excited until he told me that he already smoked. I was HOT. I told him the day before that I got off work at 4:00. Y WOULD HE DO THAT?! UGH. I was starting to sound like some kind of weed fiend, but I tried not to let that bother me. Later on that night, the girls and I went to Jazz on the Plaza, while outside, I saw my bee.eff and I gave him my ANGRY face. I couldn't keep it for long though. SMH. I had gotten over it, but now I was ready to drink. We had said that we were going to drink while the concert was going on. SMH. HORRIBLE. El.oh.el. So we decided to mix the alcohol with some slushies from Subway. I don't know who came up with that idea, but it was pretty POINTLESS because by the time we actually started drinking, we had drank the slushies already. I didn't drink all of my slushie, but I couldn't taste it anyway because I had a LOT of alcohol. THEN my friends Muffin and Tasha decided to go smoke WEED, and of COURSE we were invited. :-) I was feeling so many different things at that moment. I was excited, nervous, and scared. We got outside, and there were Muffin and Tasha. They were sitting down, and had already started smoking. My friend Crystal was the first to try. She took about three puffs because she was confused. Then she passed it to Thelma. SMH. That was a disaster. El.oh.el. I knew she was done with it after that. Then it was my turn. I took the blunt and did exactly what Muffin and Tasha told me. *sighs* "DANG. U a professional. R u sure u hvn't smoked before?" That's what one of my friends said to me. Apparently I knew what I was doing. Eventually, the alcohol and the weed was starting to kick in. I felt like I was in another world. It was so much crazy stuff that went on. It all just seems like a dream, but I DO remember all of it. I know my brother called me at after 11 p.m. saying that they were in the area and my visit. I remember craving gummy worms, my mouth was dry. It was just CRAZY. El.oh.el. It was like one of the best nights though. I had the time of my life...I THINK. El.oh.el. It was just a RANDOM night, and I LOVE randomness. The next day was a little different. I was calmer. That's probably because I was still feeling effects of the night before. El.oh.el. I chilled that whole day until my B-Day dinner and movie night. I spent some time with my friend Shelby. We went in the Fondren area and hungout. We talked about the future. It was fun. Later on I got all dolled up to celebrate my   B-Day with my girls and an added guest. El.oh.el. It was an overall GREAT night. I really enjoyed myself. It's moment like these that I cherish, especially because this school year's almost over. With three more days until my B-Day, who knows what will happen. I can't wait though. :-)

Until next time

We Have the Right, SO LET'S USE IT!!!

So this past Thursday the results for our University's elections were announced. I was happy overall for the people that won, but as far as the number of people that actually voted, I felt...some other type of way. When I saw the number of students that actually voted and compared it to the number of students that attend the school, the numbers were HORRIBLE. I mean...I just didn't understand why people didn't vote. It was literally only 13% of people that voted. Out of over 9,000 students, only a little over 1,000 voted. ...WTFlip?! It especially blew my mind to look at the breakdown of the number of people from the different classes that voted. For one candidate, it was only 41 freshmen that voted. REALLY?! There were more AKA that crossed this year. I see more than that number of people in a DAY. Like...this is CRAZY. It would be over a hundred people at the hotspots on Friday or passing through the plaza on a regular day if it feels nice outside. This showed that our generation really doesn't care. I mean...it wasn't to long ago blacks couldn't even vote. Now we're given an opportunity to, but no one wants to. Like do the young people today just not care what goes on in the world around them??? I mean...I know it's a college election, but STILL. These people are going to be put in place to represent our classes and our school as a whole. JUST VOTE. El.oh.el. And this speaks VOLUMES, seeing as how the presidential election is ALSO this year. If students couldn't vote for a simple college election, how are we ever going to get them out to vote for the PRESIDENTIAL election??? Our voices need to be heard as well, but we can't get our points across if we don't even bother to participate in what is going on around us. SMH. It just really disappoints me to see that our generation is only caught up in superficial things, such as appearance. They don't care about the real issues. They have no desire to make a difference. I mean...we CAN make a difference. This incident made me want to improve myself. I mean...all it takes is one person right? I was going to be that one person. I decided to go to the SGA office so that I could fill up one of the open positions. I felt really good. I want to make a difference, but I know it's not going to happen if I just sit around doing NOTHING. I just hope the rest of our generation realizes the same thing. Make a change in the world. Start TODAY. All it takes is one small step. Well...
Until next time.

This Makes Me Laugh

These videos are FUNNY. You guys should watch.

The World We Live In

SO...it's been a LOT of stuff that has happened over the past few days. A lot of STUPID stuff to be exact. First off, the whole Trayvon Martin story. *pauses* For those people who HAVEN'T heard, Trayvon Martin was this 17 y.o. BLACK kid who was shot in the face by this Hispanic man. Now...THOSE are the facts. This story happened on Feb. 26, 2012, but it wasn't until recently that the story gained publicity. It was with the help of the media and people's opinions that this story gained notoriety of being this racially based murder. I don't know exactly WHAT to believe. I mean...there are some that say Martin was being followed by the shooter, Zimmerman. and then I hear some people say that Zimmerman was in danger. One thing that seems to be consistent is that Zimmerman thought that Martin looked suspicious because Martin was walkin around an affluent neighborhood with a hoodie on. *pauses* Zimmerman apparently took matters into his own hands because he's the 'neighborhood watchman' which is such a prestigious AUTHORITATIVE position. *noted sarcasm* Like this guy isn't a cop, a sheriff, a NOTHING. He shouldnt've been doing ANYTHING. When this case first got publicized, people were angry with Zimmerman. But this case has gone WAY past that. People are wondering why the REAL police didn't take this case seriously. They didn't investigate this case thoroughly. The case was 'half-assed' by the police. I mean...they IMMEDIATELY assumed that Zimmerman did nothing wrong, though the 911 police calls say otherwise. I just want justice for Trayvon Martin, and the only way that is going to happen is if everyone stop putting their opinions in the story, and listen to the FACTS. With the FACTS, that will help us to determine what REALLY happened, and then judge otherwise. This past weekend, there was a tragedy that hit closer to home. Nolan Ryan Henderson, a freshman at JSU, was shot at the Palisades Apartment. *sighs* I don't know the FULL details of this story, but whatever they are, I'm sure they make the results even MORE pointless. It has been said that this was caused by some POINTLESS dispute. It was also stated that Henderson wasn't even the INTENDED TARGET. *pauses* Like this really BLOWS my mind. Why do people resort to violence for situations that could be TALKED out? Honestly, I feel that if you have to use a gun to solve your problems, you're a 'BITCH....ASS...NIGGA.' #justsaying I mean...things don't get THAT DEEp where you feel that you have to take someone's life. This really preturbs me. I mean I really wish that I could understand what goes on in people's minds. Things like this should NOT HAPPEN. WHY do they happen?! Acts like this are SO SENSELESS, and they do nothing but make things WORSE. Now we are left with a student that we will NEVER see again, a FAMILY who will NEVER see their son/brother/cousin/nephew, and someone who took an innocent person's life. SMH. *sighs* I just want to have a moment of silence for the world and the CRAZY people in it...

*sighs* I know things will never be PERFECT, but I wish senseless acts of violence didn't have to happen. It doesn't matter if you personally knew a victim or just heard about it on the news, we all feel when an innocent person loses his or her life. I just pray that we can all unite instead of fighting with each other. The world would be a MUCH better place.

Until next time...

Take It SLOW

So I was with my parents one day, and we went to visit my uncle. We hadn't seen him in a while, though he stays around the corner from us, SMH, so we thought it would be nice to pay him a visit. When we got over there, they started talking about what was going on in life and other jazz. One thing that came up was the fact that my cousin and her husband are no longer together. I was so shocked to here this information. See my cousin was dating this guy like her senior year of high school. They were together A LOT. He was a really good guy, and he was pretty cool. Then things got serious, because he asked her to marry him. They were 19. Sure they were young, but they seemed like a good match. After they got married, they got this nice house and even had a baby. Things looked GOOD. I mean...I was sure they would've stayed together longer than THIS. Now they're 21, separated, and have a one year old son. When I was talking about it with my mom, she was basically telling me how most of the women in our family have had had marriage issues. They got married TOO YOUNG and ended up divorcing. My mom was the only girl on her side that hasn't been divorced. *My aunt, my mom's sister hasn't been either, but she's also never been married.* I just don't want that kind of life for myself. I mean...I know we don't really know how our life is going to turn out, but I don't want to rush things. A few months back I was having a MID mid-life crisis, but now I see that there is no rush. I mean...I'm 19!!! I should be enjoying life and not stressing about having a family, getting a great job, and all those other things. I mean sure, I'm still concerned about my future, but not to the point that I'm going CRAZY about it. Sure I'm SINGLE, but that's okay...NOW. El.oh.el. When that time comes, it will come. Things just take time. We just have to be patient enough so that we can allow the GREAT things to happen in our lives. When we start to rush things, everything gets screwed up, and we are left feeling UGH. And that's not a good feeling. El.oh.el. I know. Everyone who is in my life now are the ones who are important to me. I'm sure with time I will find that extra SPECIAL person that I want to be in my life FOREVER, but as of right now I'm just being me. I hangout with my friends, I'm in school, and trying to enjoy life one day at a time. It's better this way...FOR ME. I'm happy with how my life is going, and I wouldn't change a thing. :-) El.oh.el.

Well, until next time.....

Life of A Single Girl

SO...I've been single for a WHILE now, and its been quite an experience. I've met some great guys, and I've also met some guys that I wish I HADN'T met. El.oh.el. SMH. I've never actually experienced the whole DATING SCENE, because I never was a relationship kind of girl, until I got to college and met my first boyfriend. A few months after we broke up, all these guys started talking to me. They like came out of NOWHERE. I talked to ALL of the guys, because you never know what can happen. When I talk to these guys though, it is so weird. My conversations sound like anything between a job interview and a competition. I mean I'm new to this and all, but this just doesn't seem RIGHT! El.oh.el. Eye.dee.kay. I just want something that is genuine. I don't want to force anything. All I know is that I'm not going to make it easy for these guys. I mean...I'm a complex girl. El.oh.el. It's going to take more than a few sweer text messages to impress me. I'm deeper than that. My last and FIRST relationship taught me a lot. It was a great relationship with a GREAT guy, but it was also unexpected. Never in a million years did I think I was going to be with him. So that realtionship just made me realize that I should keep my eyes open. Who KNOWS what could happen. Appearance isn't EVERYTHING, but I'm not going to be with an UGLY person either. El.oh.el. It's just a process, and I think I'm ready for the journey. Well....UNTIL NEXT TIME.

Catching Up

oh.em.GEE. It has been SO LONG. SMH. I'm SORRY. It's just that I've been SO BUSY. Like it has honestly been something going on EVERYDAY. But now that I have a little free time, I'm gonna catch you all up on what's been going on with me. (Of course this will be the SHORT version.) El.oh.el. SO...hmmm....WHERE DO I START??? Well...OKAY. I went through some trials of FAITH *sighs* For those people that DON'T know, I'm big on signs and that sort of stuff. I mean...I believe GOD talks us to us through signs. We just have to recognize them. ANYWAYZ. My friend and I were going through  something and we were frustrated by obstacles that we had to go through. SMH. What's life without obstacles??? El.oh.el. Well...like any other person, we started to get concerned and tried to take it upon ourselves to solve the problem. But when we thought time was over for us, GOD swooped in and saved us. *pauses* Isn't HE GREAT??? :-)  That just proved that I have to have more faith and let GOD do what HE does. He comes at the RIGHT time, even if it is ot the time that we WANTED HIM to come. *sighs* OKAY. Then there were my guy issues....X0 (This is my screaming dramatically face.) El.oh.el. I met a cool guy, who is a #lowkey freak, a guy I was talking to I found to be CARAZY, and I told my ex how I still have feelings for him, but he brushed it off. SMH. I just need a BREAK. So I've been turning my phone off more, so I can disconnect myself from people. It's pretty helpful. It's been working so far. El.oh.el. WELP...that's the gist of it all.
Until next time...and I PROMISE that I won't way FOREVER to blog again. :-)

Making Memories

I first want to start off by saying :HAPPY NEW YEAR'S!!! El.oh.el. This is my first post of the year, though I was tempted a few times by the foolishness that went on before the year ended, (the new JORDAN'S coming out.) SMH. ANYWAYS. So yesterday...well the day BEFORE yesterday, (This post is a day late. I got distracted.), I was talking with my bestie, and somehow we got on the fact that I had been going to the same school as my "Twin" since middle school, but we didn't meet until senior year of high school. SMH. It sounds horrible, but...IT HAPPENS. And earlier that day, my mom asked me to transfer some of our VHS Home Videos into DVDs, and I was like sure. So the NEXT day...YESTERDAY, I pull out all these old videos so I can transfer, and then I pulled out my yearbooks to see if I could find any signs of my twin. When I sat down and turned on the t.v. to look at these Home Videos, I started to feel tingly on the inside. El.oh.el. Like I literally was gonna cry after seeing some of them. It just made me think. Like...time passes by SO FAST. Like one minute you're getting ready to go to kindergarten, and the next minute you're graduating from college. And then when I started to look in my yearbooks, I was amazed. 1. Because I hadn't looked at them in a while, but 2. It was crazy to see how much everyone had changed over the years. I mean...I like to see people grow. I like to see how people transform over the years. Like you think about when you are in school and what you and your friends are gonna do like when you leave high school, and then you see them later on and they are totally different, or they are doing big things with their lives. *pauses* Things like that amazes me. *sighs* I guess what i'm trying to say is that we should try to make memories starting NOW. You never know what can happen in your or someone close to you life, so it's nice to have those great memories that you guys shared. I mean...I got a digital camera for Christmas, and i'm ready to take pictures of me and my friends. I'm gonna take pictures of EVERYTHING. El.oh.el. I want to remember these years. These are the GOOD YEARS. I'M LOVING IT! El.oh.el. SO...for this NEW YEAR, we should all make memories. let this year be a GREAT YEAR. HAVE FUN!!! El.oh.el. So go out and MAKE MEMORIES!!! El.oh.el. You'll be happy you did.

Until next time