Take It SLOW

So I was with my parents one day, and we went to visit my uncle. We hadn't seen him in a while, though he stays around the corner from us, SMH, so we thought it would be nice to pay him a visit. When we got over there, they started talking about what was going on in life and other jazz. One thing that came up was the fact that my cousin and her husband are no longer together. I was so shocked to here this information. See my cousin was dating this guy like her senior year of high school. They were together A LOT. He was a really good guy, and he was pretty cool. Then things got serious, because he asked her to marry him. They were 19. Sure they were young, but they seemed like a good match. After they got married, they got this nice house and even had a baby. Things looked GOOD. I mean...I was sure they would've stayed together longer than THIS. Now they're 21, separated, and have a one year old son. When I was talking about it with my mom, she was basically telling me how most of the women in our family have had had marriage issues. They got married TOO YOUNG and ended up divorcing. My mom was the only girl on her side that hasn't been divorced. *My aunt, my mom's sister hasn't been either, but she's also never been married.* I just don't want that kind of life for myself. I mean...I know we don't really know how our life is going to turn out, but I don't want to rush things. A few months back I was having a MID mid-life crisis, but now I see that there is no rush. I mean...I'm 19!!! I should be enjoying life and not stressing about having a family, getting a great job, and all those other things. I mean sure, I'm still concerned about my future, but not to the point that I'm going CRAZY about it. Sure I'm SINGLE, but that's okay...NOW. El.oh.el. When that time comes, it will come. Things just take time. We just have to be patient enough so that we can allow the GREAT things to happen in our lives. When we start to rush things, everything gets screwed up, and we are left feeling UGH. And that's not a good feeling. El.oh.el. I know. Everyone who is in my life now are the ones who are important to me. I'm sure with time I will find that extra SPECIAL person that I want to be in my life FOREVER, but as of right now I'm just being me. I hangout with my friends, I'm in school, and trying to enjoy life one day at a time. It's better this way...FOR ME. I'm happy with how my life is going, and I wouldn't change a thing. :-) El.oh.el.

Well, until next time.....

Life of A Single Girl

SO...I've been single for a WHILE now, and its been quite an experience. I've met some great guys, and I've also met some guys that I wish I HADN'T met. El.oh.el. SMH. I've never actually experienced the whole DATING SCENE, because I never was a relationship kind of girl, until I got to college and met my first boyfriend. A few months after we broke up, all these guys started talking to me. They like came out of NOWHERE. I talked to ALL of the guys, because you never know what can happen. When I talk to these guys though, it is so weird. My conversations sound like anything between a job interview and a competition. I mean I'm new to this and all, but this just doesn't seem RIGHT! El.oh.el. Eye.dee.kay. I just want something that is genuine. I don't want to force anything. All I know is that I'm not going to make it easy for these guys. I mean...I'm a complex girl. El.oh.el. It's going to take more than a few sweer text messages to impress me. I'm deeper than that. My last and FIRST relationship taught me a lot. It was a great relationship with a GREAT guy, but it was also unexpected. Never in a million years did I think I was going to be with him. So that realtionship just made me realize that I should keep my eyes open. Who KNOWS what could happen. Appearance isn't EVERYTHING, but I'm not going to be with an UGLY person either. El.oh.el. It's just a process, and I think I'm ready for the journey. Well....UNTIL NEXT TIME.

Catching Up

oh.em.GEE. It has been SO LONG. SMH. I'm SORRY. It's just that I've been SO BUSY. Like it has honestly been something going on EVERYDAY. But now that I have a little free time, I'm gonna catch you all up on what's been going on with me. (Of course this will be the SHORT version.) El.oh.el. SO...hmmm....WHERE DO I START??? Well...OKAY. I went through some trials of FAITH *sighs* For those people that DON'T know, I'm big on signs and that sort of stuff. I mean...I believe GOD talks us to us through signs. We just have to recognize them. ANYWAYZ. My friend and I were going through  something and we were frustrated by obstacles that we had to go through. SMH. What's life without obstacles??? El.oh.el. Well...like any other person, we started to get concerned and tried to take it upon ourselves to solve the problem. But when we thought time was over for us, GOD swooped in and saved us. *pauses* Isn't HE GREAT??? :-)  That just proved that I have to have more faith and let GOD do what HE does. He comes at the RIGHT time, even if it is ot the time that we WANTED HIM to come. *sighs* OKAY. Then there were my guy issues....X0 (This is my screaming dramatically face.) El.oh.el. I met a cool guy, who is a #lowkey freak, a guy I was talking to I found to be CARAZY, and I told my ex how I still have feelings for him, but he brushed it off. SMH. I just need a BREAK. So I've been turning my phone off more, so I can disconnect myself from people. It's pretty helpful. It's been working so far. El.oh.el. WELP...that's the gist of it all.
Until next time...and I PROMISE that I won't way FOREVER to blog again. :-)

Making Memories

I first want to start off by saying :HAPPY NEW YEAR'S!!! El.oh.el. This is my first post of the year, though I was tempted a few times by the foolishness that went on before the year ended, (the new JORDAN'S coming out.) SMH. ANYWAYS. So yesterday...well the day BEFORE yesterday, (This post is a day late. I got distracted.), I was talking with my bestie, and somehow we got on the fact that I had been going to the same school as my "Twin" since middle school, but we didn't meet until senior year of high school. SMH. It sounds horrible, but...IT HAPPENS. And earlier that day, my mom asked me to transfer some of our VHS Home Videos into DVDs, and I was like sure. So the NEXT day...YESTERDAY, I pull out all these old videos so I can transfer, and then I pulled out my yearbooks to see if I could find any signs of my twin. When I sat down and turned on the t.v. to look at these Home Videos, I started to feel tingly on the inside. El.oh.el. Like I literally was gonna cry after seeing some of them. It just made me think. Like...time passes by SO FAST. Like one minute you're getting ready to go to kindergarten, and the next minute you're graduating from college. And then when I started to look in my yearbooks, I was amazed. 1. Because I hadn't looked at them in a while, but 2. It was crazy to see how much everyone had changed over the years. I mean...I like to see people grow. I like to see how people transform over the years. Like you think about when you are in school and what you and your friends are gonna do like when you leave high school, and then you see them later on and they are totally different, or they are doing big things with their lives. *pauses* Things like that amazes me. *sighs* I guess what i'm trying to say is that we should try to make memories starting NOW. You never know what can happen in your or someone close to you life, so it's nice to have those great memories that you guys shared. I mean...I got a digital camera for Christmas, and i'm ready to take pictures of me and my friends. I'm gonna take pictures of EVERYTHING. El.oh.el. I want to remember these years. These are the GOOD YEARS. I'M LOVING IT! El.oh.el. SO...for this NEW YEAR, we should all make memories. let this year be a GREAT YEAR. HAVE FUN!!! El.oh.el. So go out and MAKE MEMORIES!!! El.oh.el. You'll be happy you did.

Until next time

New Beginnings

I know I haven't blogged in some time, but since it's close to the end of the year, I just HAVE to blog before the NEW YEAR. *sighs* OKAY...since it's almost NEW YEARS, it's only right to recap this year and to get ready for 2012. This year has been pretty great. Well...REALLY great. I have nothing to complain about. I'm healthy, FABULOUS, el.oh.el., a sophomore in college, doing well in school, and all that other good stuff. I also learned a lot about myself. And of course I'm still learning. I mean...I'M ONLY 19 YEARS OLD!!! El.oh.el. There's A LOT more that I have to learn. I had a great boyfriend. I lost a great boyfriend. I met some crappy guys. I made some lifelong friends. I learned about some people that I thought were close to me, but...YEAH. I'm ACCEPTING the fact that I'll be turning...*inhales and exhales*...20. *sighs* SEE...THAT'S PROGRESS. El.oh.el. I'm maturing, but not letting go of my fun-loving youthful side. I'm not quite ready to turn in my "O YEAH...I'M YOUNG" card. El.oh.el. I am looking to the future though. 2012 is gonna be EVEN BETTER, and I can't wait. NOW...for these people with these New Years resolutions. I've never really been big on that sort of thing. I think if you need to make a change in your life, you should go ahead and make that change. Don't wait until New Years. DON'T PROCRASTINATE. You know how the saying goes: "Procrastination is like  masturbation. You're screwing yourself." BESIDES...who cares what you plan on doing in the new year...JUST DO IT. Especially when you know that one person who makes a New Years resolution EVERY YEAR , but they NEVER do anything about it. ...REALLY?!  Don't talk about it. Just do it. Remember these tips for the New Year, they can come in handy. So reflect on this year and get ready for the new year.
-See you guys in 2012(unless I log in before then.)

Recognize the Signs

OKAY...so Finals are here, well...WERE here. Ummm... I'm writing this blog a LITTLE late. SMH. Eloh.el.  SO...ANYWAYZ. Since it WAS like the ending of the semester, I wanted to hang with some of my friends before we got out for break; one in particular was my friend J.B. He is a GREAT friend, and I hvn't really had the chance to hangout as much this semester, because of our schedules, so I thought this would be the PERFECT time. I didn't just want to hangout for like a few hours, I decided that I wanted to spend the night at his apartment. ...YEAH...I KNOW. It kinda sounds like a BAD IDEA, but I wasn't thinking that at the time. I just really wanted to spend time with him...SO I DID. But on my way to his apartment, I experienced some signs that I SHOULDNT'VE been there. *sighs* OKAY. So I was hanging ot with my girls. We were having a good time laughing, talking, and chilling, before we got out for break. Around midnight, I left the fun to go hangout with J.B. When I got in my car, I accidentally let down my window, and when I tried to let it back up, it wouldn't. SMH. (SIGN #1) I tried EVERYTHING, but none of that worked. I just decided to drive on, and graually let up the window that way. I ended up having to circle his apartment TWICE before the window went all the way up. Now that was done with, I had to find a parking space, but there was nowhere to park. (SIGN #2) UGH. After about 10 minutes, I finally found what I THOUGHT was a good parking space, so I just left my car there and went inside.  When I opened the door, I was greeted by like 7 guys playing cards in the living room area. *pauses* AWKWARD. El.oh.el. (SIGN#3) I just went in his room and waited for him to come in  there. While I was getting things situated, he appeared behind me. I was happy to see him. :-) El.oh.el. We hungout and just chilled. It was a GREAT night. *sighs* So the next morning, I woke up a little early so I could study for my exam that I had at noon. I got my studying done, and then it was time for me to go take my exam. He walked me to my car, but that was because I made him. El.oh.el. So we're walking out to my car, and I don't see it. I was FREAKING OUT. When I got closer, my car was DEFINETLY not there. The lady in the restaurant nearby, walked out with a business card, and she told me that my car had been towed. R U KIDDING ME?!?! I was crying. J.B. tried to comfort me. SMH. It was a POOR attempt, but I appreciated it. It didn't matter tho, cuz I was still upset. I had an exam to take in like 40 minutes, and it was on the other side of the school. UGH. And then I had no car. I called the towing people to find out the information on my car, and they said it would cost $133.00. ...Ummm...EXCUSE ME??? I was like so...UGH. i just decide to leave. My exam was about to start, and I needed to stop some places before I went to take my exam. SMH. Everything ended up going well. I did a nice job on my exam, I got my car, and all the other stuff I had to do. But...the whole situation had me thinking. Like...I didn't want to do that anymore; hanging out like that. All those signs, and Ididn't recognize them. I wasn't supposed to be there, but I was trying to do my own things. I am a believer that GOD sends speaks to us through signs and stuff like that when he wants us to know something, but it is up to US to listen to them, and I DEFINETLY ignored these signs. SMH. I just hope the next time I am able to recognize the signs before something as bad or even worse than getting my car towed happens. This was definetly one of those life lessons type deals. It helped me to see what's right for me right now, and what I should be doing, and who I should be with. I just hope it doesn't happen again. Well...
UNTIL NEXT TIME.

SO That's All You Want From ME?!?!

I've always heard people say "All guys want one thing" (not to ME, but on t.v. and stuff. El.oh.el.), but I never really paid much attention to that. My ex and I broke up like 5 months ago, and I really want to start back with a relationship. Especially since I'll be turning 20 soon, which is making me feel HECKA OLD. I just feel like I should start getting my life and stuff in order. You know...like a career, relationship, and all that stuff. Basically I'm going through a mid, MID-life crisis. El.oh.el. So I've been talking to a few guys, well...they started talking to me, and it's been going good. But of course that only lasts so long. *rolls eyes* I recently found out that all the guys that was talking to me, only wanted one thing:SEX. *rolls eyes again* UGH. Like where do I have to go to find a guy who's BOYFRIEND material, someone who doesn't want that from me, and isn't HARASSING me to get it. Like what the flip is wrong with these guys??? Like I don't know what they're USED TO, but I'm not girl that they are looking for, and they're DEFINETLEY NOT the guys for me. *sighs* Like why is this so hard?!?! :-( I mean...I'm not DESPERATE or anything. I'm not thinking that every guy I see is gonna be "THAT ONE." It's just...eye.dee.kay. It just takes time I guess. When it happens...it will happen. I just can't force anything...no matter how FRUSTRATING it gets. And it most certainly gets frustrating. *sighs* Well until next time....